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Amberpelt Speaks: The Pain I Felt
To the real Blazeheart. StarClan forbid you never see how much you hurt me. ''Chapter One'' No! ''Amberpelt stared, helpless, as Blazeheart padded away, Dustcloud brushing her flank against his. Her legs began to wobble as Dustcloud intertwined her tail with Blazeheart's. She had loved him. He stabbed her in the back. ''No She told herself. He didn't. He never loved you. ''She walked slowly towards the warriors den, wailing silently to herself the whole way. A flash of gray, and her mother, Wolfshine, was bounding towards her, tail held high. She obviously didn't see how much pain Amberpelt was in. "Hi, Amberpelt," Wolfshine greeted her, rubbing her muzzle against Amberpelt's. "How are you?" Amberpelt bristled. "What does it matter?" She spat, making Wolfshine flinch. "Who cares if I feel like fox dung, or if I feel as if StarClan's at my paws?" Her mothers eyes clouded, and she instantly regreted it. But she didn't take it back. She was done. Anger, sadness, grief, loss, fear... everything was mixed up inside her, and she felt as if she would blow she was so full. She turned, stalking away, tears blurring her vision. She was heading for the dirtplace tunnel. There was a small gap in the side, which no one, not even her brother, Pebbleclaw, knew about. It led to a small clearing, where Amberpelt went to clear her head whenever she was frustrated. She squished through when she was sure no one was watching, then padded to sit in the nest she had made long ago. She lay on her side, squeezing her eyes closed as tears flowed from them. She began to think, but of only one thing: Blazeheart. Chapter Two She loved him. He didn't, and possibly never would, know. She remembered when she first saw him, first decided she loved him. She had opened her eyes for the first time and he was there, staring at her with his beautiful brown eyes, tail wrapped around his paws. She shivered. ''He hardly knows you exsist! ''She snarled at herself. ''And you think he ever loved you? ''She remembered the only time he had ever talked to her. She had been out hunting by herself, and had caught a vole. She was carrying it back to camp when she fell on it, crushing it. It was limp and bloody, but she had thought it would still taste good. When she went into camp, Blazeheart had been there, taking moss to the elders. He had put the moss down and shrieked "Amberpaw, what ''is ''that?" She had mumbled "A vole" then had gone to burry it deep into the territory. She pulled herself into a sitting position and groomed her chest fur. She would just have to find someone else. Sometimes she caught Cedarclaw staring at her with a strange look on his face, like she was a spirit from StarClan. Almsot as soon as she would look, his head would snap back to whatever he was doing. It made Amberpelt curious. ''Well, there's always - ''She cut herself off as she realized what she was about to say. Her shoulders hunched, her head drooped. ''No. Bramblepaw's dead. You...you can't have him. Bramblepaw had been killed in battle, a while before he was to be made a warrior. He had always made her feel better when she was upset, and he had been her best friend for a long time, up until his death. She was the only one to sit vigil for him, as his family had died long before him. Blazeheart was all she had left. Chapter Three Just as she emerged from the dirtplace tunnel, Blazeheart and Dustcloud bounded into camp, their jaws stuffed with fresh-kill. They buzzed around the camp, dropping fresh-kill at every cats' paws. Amberpelt padded to a shaded spot, a deserted corner, and laid her head on her paws, closing her eyes. She heard pawsteps and a soft thud and looked up to see Dustcloud bounding away. She sniffed at the thrush Dustcloud had given her, and recoiled with a whimper. Blazeheart's scent covered it. He had caught the thrush. What is she trying to prove? ''Amberpelt thought as she bit into the thrush. She hadn't wanted to eat it, but she was starving. ''That I can no longer have him? Oh, the mange-ridden excuse for a cat! ''When she was finished, she groomed her face and rolled onto her back, staring at the stars. ''Are you there, Bramblepaw? Please, tell me what to do! I feel now as if I love Blazeheart more than I ever had, now that he's got...a mate. ''She didn't want to think of the horrid Dustcloud as his mate. He was too good for her. The pale brown tabby she-cat didn't deserve a mate, much less Blazeheart. Rolling stifly to her paws, she padded to the medicine den to say good-night to Pebbleclaw before heading to bed. He had pulled his shoulder while trying to get a branch out of the camp after a terrible storm, and now he was imobilized in the medicine den, where Dawnfire could watch over him. ''Ha! Watch over him. Thats a good one, Amberpelt. ''Dawnfire was blind. She would never ''watch over ''anything. When she padded into the den, Pebbleclaw was awake, clawing feebly at the moss of his bedding; he was restless, eager to get back to warrior duties. Dawnfire was nowhere to be seen. He glanced up at her when she entered. Concern pinched his face as he saw a streak of tear-stained fur that she had missed washing. Amberpelt bent her head to brush her muzzle against his. "Good night," She murmured. He nodded. "Good night. Oh, Amberpelt!" He called as she turned to leave. She glanced over her shoulder. "Yes?" He grinned, wincing as he jostled his shoulder. "You know you can always talk to me," His eyes sparkled, making Amberpelt feel like a kit again, being watched over by her big brother. "Yes...yes, I know," She replied as she left for the warriors den. ''But I have nothing to say, ''She thought as she settled into her nest. Chapter Four Amberpelt woke to bright light shining in her eyes. She yawned and stretched, grinning as something caught her eye. Dustcloud was asleep, curled into a tight ball, but Blazeheart was missing, having gone on the dawn patrol without her. Dustcloud's brother, Quickstep, prodded her flank with his bulky paw. "Wake up," He growled, poking harder. "What do you think you are, a dormouse?" Dustcloud groaned and rolled onto her back, streching her neck to lick where Blazeheart kept his head when he slept. When he tounge lapped at nothing but air, she sprang to her paws. "Where's Blazeheart gone?" She wailed. "He left me! He's gone!" Her angry amber eyes snapped to Amberpelt. "What have you done with him?" Dustcloud snarled, her hackles rising. Amberpelt stared at her in alarm as every pair of eyes in the den trailed to her. "What have ''I ''done with him?" She spat, making Dustcloud blink in confusion. "What would ''I ''do with your precious Blazeheart? Why would I ''want anything with him?" The words cut through Amberpelt like a claw, as she realized how untrue the last statement was. Blazeheart meant the world to her, and yet- "Whatever." Dustclouds irritated growl cut off her thought. She bounded out of the den, followed by Quickstep. Amberpelt hissed in annoyance at the hot-headed warrior, then followed. The clearing was buzzing with action. The dawn patrol was gone, so the fresh-kill pile was nearly empty. Dawnfire was guiding Pebbleclaw out of the medicine den for his morning stretch. Amberpelt flicked her tail to him in greeting, as she headed for the enterance to the camp. "Where are you going, Amberpelt?" The deputy Icepelt yowled to her. Amberpelt sighed. She didn't wish to have any cat follow her to where she was going. "Just... a little hunting, Icepelt. I'd like to hunt alone right now." Icepelt nodded, and Amberpelt bounded away. She raced across the pebbly stream that surrounded Five Trees. She padded past the Great Oak, where squirrel was mainly caught. And she threw herself deeper into the forest, away from hunting areas. She was heading for the Starpool. When she arrived, the sun was peaking over the tops of the trees, making the water turn a mixture of golds, oranges, and pinks. She lay at the waters edge and lapped at the water, which sent a shiver down her spine. Then, blackness. Chapter Five Amberpelt opened her eyes to find she was no longer alone at the Starpool. One familiar pair of yellow eyes made her bounce to her paws, letting out a delighted wail. "Bramblepaw! Oh, I'm so glad to see you!" She rushed forward, drinking in his comforting scent as she rubbed his cheek with her muzzle. He purred and rubbed back. "I have missed you, Amberpelt. And I know why you wanted to see me." His eyes shown with wisdom as Amberpelt pulled back. She bowed her head. "What do I do, Bramblepaw? When I look at him...it's like a fire burns in my heart, red and hot. And nothing can extinguish it. But what can I do to make him notice me?" Bramblepaws gaze turned from wise, to remorseful. "Amberpelt," He began. "You must understand that if Blazeheart is too blind to notice you, nothing will give him the sight. Please, for the sake of your happiness, don't make yourself miserable over something far from your control." Amberpelt understood, but accepting that Blazeheart didn't love her made her heart ache. "All right, Bramblepaw. And don't think that I've forgotten you. I still love you as well, possibly now more than ever." Bramblepaws eyes shown with love and respect. He nodded. "Amberpelt, I watched you become a warrior. I have watched you suffer. I have watched you shine with happiness. And I have watched you grieve." He bowed his head. "I may have made you suffer when I lost my life in battle, but I love you too." Amberpelt purred and rubbed his muzzle with hers, knowing she may never do it again. "I know, dear Bramblepaw. I hope our paths cross again." His pelt began to fade, until it was as pale as the stars. "Good-bye, Amberpelt. May StarClan light your path," He whispered as he dissapeared. Amberpelt woke, waiting to begin her new life without Blazeheart. Chapter Six Amberpelt shuffled into the camp, being weighed down by the huge rabbit she had caught before returning. She dropped it on the fresh-kill pile. She was exhausted, though the sun had had only recently risen. Icepelt noticed. "Are you tired, Amberpelt? Go ahead and take a nap. We've got enough cats that we can spare you." Amberpelt nodded and bounded to the warriors den. Blazeheart was there, and he looked up as she entered. She lay down, but didn't feel any weight hunch her shoulders. She would give up Blazeheart. She couldn't make him love her. Would she ever turn up her nose at him if he changed his mind? Of course not. But she wouldn't let him ruin her life. Yes. I will forget you, Blazeheart. And you'll regret having missed your chance with me. Hope you enjoyed =) Category:Stargaze's FanFic's